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Pets: Going out of My Way because of Autism
By Nicole Mytels, Contributor
After I lost my beloved cat, Murray, I didn't want to be without a cat. I probably didn't even observe the proper period of pet grieving and mourning. Even though I have a husband, a child with autism, a dog, and a full life, I just could not stand to be catless. You see, the cat is my personal pet, just for me, my dedicated furball of comfort.
So I began methodically searching for the perfect cat, starting with the closest shelters. That was a mistake. All shelters are not created equally.
All of the shelters in my area required that I fill out a long application listing my other pets and the age of my child. They wanted to make sure that my household was a good fit for a prospective pet. The shelters all required that I bring my son in to interact with the pet possibilities.
That is all very well and good, but I don't just have a typical five year-old. I have a five year old who has autism and who would act very differently at a pet shelter than he might at home. If my son had a meltdown at any of those pet shelters, they would NEVER let me adopt a pet.
Add a preexisting dog to the mix, and oh-ho! Even though my dog is old and completely cat friendly, you would have thought that I'd gone into the pet shelter high on crack and asking for furry stir-fry ingredients. At several shelters the staff told me that they could not help me. One employee at a shelter 40 minutes away told me that they only had one cat out of 200 inmates that would meet my "requirements." But again, they wanted me to bring my son to interact.
What to do... what to do... I knew I could buy a cat from one of those ads in the paper. I did that once for an old boyfriend who wanted a certain breed of cat. The breeder, "had to have ourselves another litter 'cause the car done broke down again an' needs [funds for] fixin'." I knew I could perjure myself and lie on subsequent pet adoption applications, but that option didn't sit well with me. I also had the option of asking a friend or neighbor to pose as the prospective pet parent. One of my elderly, single neighbors even offered to do this for me.
But no, none of it seemed right. Finally, I drove to a shelter a couple of hours away near the Mexican border, prepared for disappointment. However, they general attitude there was one of harried friendliness. I was handed an application that did NOT grill me for information about other pets and children. In fact, they had so many cats that they were offering a 2-for-the-price-of-1 special. Amazingly, I was treated like an adult capable of choosing a pet. Just by sheer coincidence, the cat that I chose happened to have lived with dogs, other cats, AND young children.
It was a little bit of an adjustment at first. The cat and I were waiting at home for first time introductions to the rest of the family who had gone out for a walk. My son was tired and cranky and sounded like a screaming Godzilla coming up the stairs. I felt a little sorry for the cat who looked apprehensive and then hid. As soon as my son fell asleep, the cat came out and rubbed up against my son's hands. The cat soon learned that my son is not typical, but the cat has actually trained my son. If he touches the cat a tad too roughly, the cat calmly walks away. And so my son has learned to treat the cat gently. She has never scratched or growled at my son even on the occasions where he has contemplated trying to ride her like a horse.
He's much more successful at attempting to hitch a ride on the back of the dog. Interestingly, I don't mind this behavior because it is actually very typical behavior. All young visitors to our home attempt to ride the dog. If you're looking for a dog, get the most mellow one that you can find, I mean just one notch above conscious.
After I lost my beloved cat, Murray, I didn't want to be without a cat. I probably didn't even observe the proper period of pet grieving and mourning. Even though I have a husband, a child with autism, a dog, and a full life, I just could not stand to be catless. You see, the cat is my personal pet, just for me, my dedicated furball of comfort.
So I began methodically searching for the perfect cat, starting with the closest shelters. That was a mistake. All shelters are not created equally.
All of the shelters in my area required that I fill out a long application listing my other pets and the age of my child. They wanted to make sure that my household was a good fit for a prospective pet. The shelters all required that I bring my son in to interact with the pet possibilities.
That is all very well and good, but I don't just have a typical five year-old. I have a five year old who has autism and who would act very differently at a pet shelter than he might at home. If my son had a meltdown at any of those pet shelters, they would NEVER let me adopt a pet.
Add a preexisting dog to the mix, and oh-ho! Even though my dog is old and completely cat friendly, you would have thought that I'd gone into the pet shelter high on crack and asking for furry stir-fry ingredients. At several shelters the staff told me that they could not help me. One employee at a shelter 40 minutes away told me that they only had one cat out of 200 inmates that would meet my "requirements." But again, they wanted me to bring my son to interact.
What to do... what to do... I knew I could buy a cat from one of those ads in the paper. I did that once for an old boyfriend who wanted a certain breed of cat. The breeder, "had to have ourselves another litter 'cause the car done broke down again an' needs [funds for] fixin'." I knew I could perjure myself and lie on subsequent pet adoption applications, but that option didn't sit well with me. I also had the option of asking a friend or neighbor to pose as the prospective pet parent. One of my elderly, single neighbors even offered to do this for me.
But no, none of it seemed right. Finally, I drove to a shelter a couple of hours away near the Mexican border, prepared for disappointment. However, they general attitude there was one of harried friendliness. I was handed an application that did NOT grill me for information about other pets and children. In fact, they had so many cats that they were offering a 2-for-the-price-of-1 special. Amazingly, I was treated like an adult capable of choosing a pet. Just by sheer coincidence, the cat that I chose happened to have lived with dogs, other cats, AND young children.
It was a little bit of an adjustment at first. The cat and I were waiting at home for first time introductions to the rest of the family who had gone out for a walk. My son was tired and cranky and sounded like a screaming Godzilla coming up the stairs. I felt a little sorry for the cat who looked apprehensive and then hid. As soon as my son fell asleep, the cat came out and rubbed up against my son's hands. The cat soon learned that my son is not typical, but the cat has actually trained my son. If he touches the cat a tad too roughly, the cat calmly walks away. And so my son has learned to treat the cat gently. She has never scratched or growled at my son even on the occasions where he has contemplated trying to ride her like a horse.
He's much more successful at attempting to hitch a ride on the back of the dog. Interestingly, I don't mind this behavior because it is actually very typical behavior. All young visitors to our home attempt to ride the dog. If you're looking for a dog, get the most mellow one that you can find, I mean just one notch above conscious.
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